I am still slightly uncomfortable when someone introduces me to their friends “this is my Pastor’s wife.” Not that I don’t find honor in it or enjoy it with all that I am. Because I truly do! I’m just Rhonda! There is a slight pressure that comes with those words and the not-so-old me used to feel terrified of such an introduction. But why? Let’s back track a bit….
A lot of people are somewhat surprised when they get to know me and find out that I didn’t grow up in church. I have quite the history! You can relate, eh? I grew up in a home with a father who suffered from generational curses that suffocated the life out of our home. Cutting words! Excessive alcohol consumption! We searched for peace like a thirsty deer panting in a dry creek bed. Come to think of it, I had no idea what peace was. We went to church on rare occasions. I would usually spend a week in the summer at my grandparent’s home, where I would attend vacation bible school. But it was a futile attempt to cultivate a relationship with the Prince of Peace. Funny story…when I was in my early twenties, my Grandaddy tried to set me up with a local pastor. I was shocked! In response, I said and I quote, “Granddaddy, I would never date or marry a pastor. I am a heathen!” Wow, I sure didn’t hold back on my words. Honesty has always been one my virtues.
Somehow though, in the turmoil of life, I always felt a gentle draw and whisper from God but would learn how to ignore it for many years. When Jerod and I first met, in our early twenties (2005), we were both lost in living a self-serving life and would only care to pursue “my” wants and “my” desires. It wasn’t until I was 29 and reconnected with Jerod that I truly experienced the love of God. How could I ever forget the first time I went up to the front of a Spirit-filled church for prayer. Tears flowed. Lips stammered. I had never felt a rush of emotion like this. During this time, I had come out of an almost 3-year relationship with an unbeliever when Jerod came back into my life. Remember the peace I had never felt? Well, the peace he carried was mysterious and I wanted what He had. Nothing like a cute boy to get a girl on the right track of living for God! Thankfully, I chose one that led me down the right path towards salvation.
Jerod wasn’t a pastor when I married him, but God called Him and with a resounding YES, we followed the call. Therefore, I became what I never knew I could. Here are a few rules of thumb that I stick to in order to thrive as a pastor’s wife:
- I have made sure to surround myself with positive influences, people who feed into me so that I may feed into others. This is something I take very seriously. I do not surround myself with people who tear down; but instead, those who lift up. I am blessed to know some amazing women who speak life into me. Word of advice: find them and cleave to them. Pour into them the way they pour into you.
- Another way to keep myself in a good headspace is to stay in the Word! Game. Changer. I make sure to wake up every morning early enough to get my mind set on HIM. I have usually read and studied my bible and prayed before the kids get up. I feel heaviness when I am not able to get this done in the morning. It has helped me more than I will ever know to have started this routine.
- I don’t worry about what others think of me. Imagine the burden that would be carried if I tried to appease every single person in our church family. You may can please them but you can’t appease them. It is with much gratefulness that our congregation loves us just as we are. Imperfectly perfect. There should be grace for every season.
- Lastly, I don’t over involve myself in the workings of day to day church details. Fortunately, we have been able to sustain a healthy balance of home life and serving others in our church family. Truth be told, it feels like we get more pleas for help from those outside the church family. Stressing the importance even more of being balanced in our responsibilities to our family, church family, and community at large. One of the keys to long term success in ministry is avoiding burnout, knowing when to say no. One must find the rhythm and cadence that serves Jesus, His Kingdom, and others in the most efficient way possible.
I pray that this has been helpful to my audience in some way, if not just to get to know me and the inner workings of my heart a little more. Be blessed in all that you are called to be! Selah.
